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Fat Bastard Wine’s Top Ten Most Pretentious Public Figures

Here are the most obnoxious poseurs for 2007:

NOTE: This is Fat Bastard’s list NOT mine, and ignore the default byline at the top please. Just sharing it for humor’s sake. Thank you.
#1. Donald Trump — After the war of the Rosie, the Donald’s new claim
to fame is his elevation to first place in Fat Bastard’s most
pretentious poll. In fact, his pretensions seem to never end: he
puts his name on everything from buildings and business suits to
vodka and cologne.

#2. Paris Hilton: Can this woman get no respect? Falling from first on
our poll, she can’t seem to convince our respondents that she’s now
taken the high road in life. Perhaps in 2008, we’ll see her spurn
the spotlight in favor of some serious do-gooding.

#3. Bill O’Reilly: Another man who’s moving up in the world of
pretension is America’s “most influential conservative,” who last
year sat in spot number four. As the Fox News Channel’s resident
bully, O’Reilly is known for his feisty attitude, extraordinarily
slanted views and his ill-tempered tantrums whenever a liberal
notion creeps into the conversation.

#4. Rosie O’Donnell: Virtually tied for third with Mr. Reilly, Rosie
makes her debut on the most pretentious list this year. Equally
vociferous about her liberal leanings, Rosie is another media
miracle who never shrinks from expressing her opinions.

#5. Tom Cruise: About to become the subject of a tell-all book, the
inimitable Mr. Cruise is another personality who’s incredibly
high — on himself. He’ll always be remembered for his
couch-leaping craze, the value of his advice to new mothers and his
ongoing crusade for Scientology.

#6. Hillary Clinton: When it comes to pretension, few women can top
Hillary who is still convinced that people “in her position” should
never be questioned on pesky problems like the Whitewater scandal.
How surprised the other Democratic presidential contenders must have
been to discover they weren’t allowed to discuss her stands on any
of those annoying “issues” without becoming the targets of an
aggressive Bill attack.

#7. Victoria Beckham: Her Spice Girls nickname wasn’t “Posh” for
nothing though her musical contributions seem to have made a bigger
impression on Victoria herself than they ever did on the music
industry. “Coronated” when she wed — at least in her own mind –
she and her soccer sweetie sat on golden thrones as they surveyed
the subjects at their nuptials.

#8. Tyra Banks: If considering yourself to be extraordinarily talented
is a sure sign of being pretentious, claiming you are the next Oprah
may reach a new high. Though she’s no journalist, the Victoria
Secret’s supermodel thinks she has all the answers.

#9. Kanye West — Kanye’s sense of his own importance is most obvious
during music award season. In fact, he’s sure he deserves them all.
If he’s passed over, watch out, as this rapper will surely launch
into a rant.

#10. Britney Spears — Last place on the poll is reserved for a true
loser in 2007: she shed her husband, lost her kids and if her
performance at the MTV VMA’s is any indication, she may be in danger
of losing her career, as well. Perhaps it’s her hubris in thinking
she can continue on the course of her seemingly irresponsible life
and still claim she’s a good mom that earned her a place on the Fat
Bastard Most Pretentious Poll.

In People on December 3, 2007 at 23:43

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